I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
