the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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