She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
