does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Randomize
