Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
