I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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