Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
