Sry I called you an 8
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
