just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
The adults are the big ones right?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
