how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I think I won the penis lottery.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
