YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
