I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I want to walk on stilts...naked
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
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