remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
