dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
