i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
