can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I have fence marks all over my body
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
This toilet bowl is my home.
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