did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
