I just saw a hot homeless man
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Who put my cat in the fridge?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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