is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
