i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
