Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
