Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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