Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
