Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
