Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
