Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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