physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
