can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
tell me about the fingering
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