I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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