he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
