So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
