i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
