Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Congratulations! We have a period
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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