I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
