Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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