I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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