We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
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