Having a random hookup so left but love u
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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