Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
