My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
