Me too!
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
