Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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