ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
