New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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