I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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