Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
