i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
