so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
