I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
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