ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
